I hate this phrase, I have never much liked it. How does time heal a wound that is deep, yes we move on, yes we live life, or drown in our sorrows, but time does not heal the wound. I hate that phrase, because time does not heal the wounds of the past. It has been close to 12 years since Roderick past away in a car accident, and the wound is still there, now of course my life has evolved in ways I could have never dreamed of 12 years ago. I mean the anger is gone, the depression is gone, the confusion is gone. I do not know why him, but I must live I must move on, but do not tell me time heals all wounds. I am glad that the next year I was in a college thousands of miles away from where he and his family were. Not that I do not love his family, but the memory of him would have been more imbearable than the pain and anquish I was going through. The pain is hard to articulate to those who just assumed they knew, sure they had pain of their own, sure they had similar situations but how can they tell me time heals the wounds. Oh I have forgiven the man who fell asleep driving, I have prayed for the family who was on the other side of the road, who lost family memembers, because drivers and passengers did not pull over when they were tired. The wound however is still there, the wound is small, it is not the gaping hole it once was. You can ask my wife, most visits to Altus, I go and speak at his grave, tell him what is going on in my life, yes it is just a grave buried six feet deep but the wound is still there. I know people mean well, I know people want to help us move on, but sometimes we need to let people move at their own pace, no we do not want people to wallow in things they can not control, but we need them to work through the stages of grief. Saying time heals all wounds, is just not true. Wounds do not heal! Now for those who would jump me for this statement I say this, when we get to heaven the wounds on Jesus right and left hand will be there, the wounds are still there, but the wound will wrap around me and take away the wounds I have from this life, but they remain with me as a constant reminder. A reminder of the unknown, a reminder of uncertainty, A reminder, that my mortality is but fleeting, I do not know what will happen when I walk out the door, but I remember the wound and it reminds me that my life is indeed short, and to share the truth with people, Oh time does not heal all wounds, but when we look to God, he will help us move from the wound of hurt and heartach, and help us continue to live our lives even in the midst of our hurt, unfortunately the first thing God ask us to do is forgive those whom hurt us, whether it is a irresponsible driver, a mental unstable person, a gunman at a church. These are not easy steps, but if we do not do this the wound will be a gaping hole, that will only grow bigger, and our hate and discourse become stronger and we become angry even at those who were not responsible in the slightest for our pain, and oh yes sometimes the very person we need to forgive is God, because he is the one we blame. Oh he has a reason, and I wish I knew what the reason was, but I do not presume to know these things, but when we forgive, the wound begins its healing process, oh the scars do not go away, and the pain remains, and the hurt remains, but we will be able to live life we will be able to move on in the midst of our trials. Today I do not know what is causing any of my friends pain, with the exception of maybe one, but know the first step and the hardest step to the healing is forgiveness. But know this and please hear me, do not tell anyone time will heal all wounds, but God will bandage our wound and carry us through the difficult times and eventually the wound will stop bleeding and become a scar, a scar that will make us as individuals stronger wiser. It will not give us the answers to life or why these things happened the way they did but we will see we can live life we can move on and then we will see in front of us friends family and the God of the universe with his arms open to embrace us so we can indeed move into the future of his plan, and his embrace.